Although I need not rehearse the famous dialogue from the Lewis Carroll’s epic novel Alice in wonderland, this piece of my writing wouldn’t get a head start without it. So, here it goes-
(Alice, on her journey through the wonderland, confused about the directions, asks the Cheshire Cat)
“Alice: Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?
The Cheshire Cat: That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.
Alice: I don't much care where.
The Cheshire Cat: Then it doesn't matter which way you go.
Alice then chooses a way out of the many confusing options and what followed that was a fabulous journey that has enthralled the people of all ages, over the ages and continues to do so.
Considering the complexities and vagaries of our life, this world is no less than a wonderland. As we grow, we try to get accustomed (or at least pretend to get accustomed) with this wonderland and we often find ourselves in a situation like Alice – baffling over which way to take and where to go.
So, which one is more important - the way or the destination?
This reminds me of my schooldays. We had to write an essay on “Aim of my Life”. The students were encouraged to write about some bright and obvious career options like – Chartered Accountants, Doctors, Engineers, Teachers, Public Administrators, Scientists, Managers, Entrepreneurs, etc., elaborating the connotations of these career options to the personal life and society at large. We were also encouraged to write some well branded catch-lines such as: ‘an aimless life is like a boat without a rudder, or a football match without a goalpost, or a car without a steering, a shop without customers, an atom bomb without any enemy, Columbus without a compass, so on and so forth. I hope none of you had escaped this exercise during your schooldays! More we use such explosive phrases, better chances of marks! Getting marks is always nice but the question here, is it ideal to call a short term career goal as aim of the life! For, by the time we achieve these career goals, we don’t even spend half of our productive life. What’s next – either live life king size aimlessly or set a new aim!
I came across this interesting survey on Life’s Aims conducted by the Dailymail (Source: http://www.dailymail.co.uk) quizzing around 2000 men and women of Britain between the age 13 to 23. Although the findings would have been somewhat different if the study had a larger sample size or a different geographical location, the result still provides some interesting insights about people’s ambitions:
What’s
interesting, none of them have any ambition beyond the age of 42. If we
consider, average life expectancy of a developed county as 85, the ratio is
even below 50%. What they are going to do in the rest half of the Life?
The question
was put in a different way during a training programme on Behavioural Science.
Instead of asking “what is your aim in life”, the trainer asked “what do you
want from your life?”
Some common responses
were:
- Money and Recognition,
- Peace and Tranquillity,
- Family and Children
- Success in Career
- Balance in work and life
- Happiness
- Freedom to live life my way.
- Friends that I can count on.
- Contribution to the society
- Productivity and meaningful life.
Some less
common responses were:
- Look young throughout my life
- Dance without looking stupid
- Eat whatever without gaining weight
- Live in a beautiful and serene
place
- Solitude
- Feel important to others
- Live each day without regret
- Have as many children as possible
- A guru who would show me inner
light.
- Eat, drink and be merry.
The list is not
exhaustive but what’s common to all the responses is that they are all related
to the path of our life and not to the destination or aim. The question asked
is more meaningful than bluntly asking what your aim in life is. Because, life
is a beautiful yet uncertain journey and you never know what would happen the
next moment. Therefore it is all the more prudent to take each day of your life
as it comes and treat it as a special boon to make your life delightful and
meaningful.
Each journey is
special as it generally takes a larger proportion of time compared to time
spent at the destination. So, don’t spoil the splendour of the journey by
focusing only at the destination. If you believe you have miles to go before
you sleep, you would develop sleep disorders. Enjoy the woods; you may not get
it again in your way.
Remember, it
only takes 5 years of study to become a Doctor, 4 years for Engineers, 3 years
to graduate, 3 plus 2 years to do an MBA, 2 years to do a diploma, 4-5 years to
become a CA, only a few moments to become a politician, sadhu or criminal; plus
some additional years to attain proficiency in the above professions. But if you want to really live life the way
you desire, the time starts now.
You don’t need
any qualification or expertise to enjoy the sunshine or the raindrops. Nor
there is any timeframe. You can enjoy them throughout your life. If you want to
contribute to the society, you can do it all over your life. There is no
deadline, no preparedness, no target, no compulsion, and no obligation to do
these things. Just do it whenever you feel like at your own pace, at your own
style.
So, if I were
in the place of the Cheshire cat, I would have told Alice - Choose the way which you feel promising
and exciting, forget about the destination and enjoy the journey. If your
journey is meaningful, it does not matter even if you don’t reach any destination.
Also, face the wonderland the way it is; don’t ever try to get accustomed to
it. Because, if you do, it will lose its mystifying charm and no longer be called
a wonderland. It will then be the same old world from where you’ve come from.
Let it stay a wonderland and continue your adventurous and beautiful journey as
long as you can.
Written during October 2013 for my Alumni Magazine
